換一種思路
在美國紐約有一個大花園，吸引了大批的遊客。
園外有個告示牌，寫著：『凡檢舉偷花草樹木者，賞金200美元』
『為什麼不寫，偷花木者罰200美元就好了呢？』好奇的遊客問管理人員。
管理員回答說：『如果那樣寫，那只能靠我的一雙眼睛：但現在，可能有幾百雙警惕的眼睛，幫我們監督啦！』
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目標，乃信念之母
有一支來自美國的探險隊，在橫越撒哈拉沙漠時，在炎烈的太陽下，每個團員都面臨了極大的考驗；最要命的是，大家的水壼都空了！
此時，隊長拿出了唯一的水壼跟大家說：『這裡還有一壼水，但是穿越沙漠前，誰也不能喝。』
水壼在每個隊員的手中經過，那沈甸甸的水壼，成了這個艱辛的過程中，最大的信念。
最後，整隊終於完成跋涉，遠離了死神，大家都哭了，用那顫抖的手打開了那支撐大夥兒的偉大水壼－那緩緩流出的，竟是滿滿的一壼沙子…
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抓住機會的好牌
《紐約日報》有一位著名的記者，他最津津樂道的，是他得到這份工作的過程。
當時，他十分緊張地在辦公室外等待，履歷表已經送進去了，過了一會兒，一個職員出來說：『經理要看您的名片。』
他從來都沒有名片，於是靈機一動，他拿出一副樸克牌，抽出一張黑桃A說：『給他這個。』
半個小時後，他被錄取。黑桃A，真是一張好牌！
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離你最近的成功
法國的一家報紙進行了一次有獎徵答，
題目是：『如果法國的羅浮宮發生了大火，大火的情況，只允許你救出一幅畫，你會救哪一幅？』
結果，得到第一名的答案是．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．．
離出口最近的那幅畫！
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健康
窮人失去健康，等於雪上加霜。富人失去健康，等於一輩子白忙。
男人失去健康，她會成為別人的新娘。女人失去健康，他將會重新妝點自己的洞房。
老人失去健康，天倫之樂成為奢望。兒童失去健康，他的父母會痛斷肝腸。
人這一輩子，沒了健康，等於這輩子都在瞎忙！
各位親愛的兄弟姐妹們保重自己的身體！
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來了......
小時候，媽媽說：狼來了。
上學時，同學說：老師來了。
工作後，同事說：老闆來了。
結婚後，朋友說：你老婆來了。
現在，小三說：這個月沒來........"沒來" 比 "來了" 更嚇人
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寫信
一天，精神病人在寫信，護士問：“寫信給誰啊！”精神病人答：“寫給自己啊！”
護士又問：“寫了什麽啊！”
精神病人答：“神經病！我又還沒收到，我怎么知道啊！
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玩鳥
某商店養隻鸚鵡，放在門口處，顧客進門就說 “歡迎光臨”，
一少女不信來回走了六次，鸚鵡跟著說六次，
到了第七次，鸚鵡大怒說：“老板，有人玩你的鳥！”
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我對媽祖說
我對媽祖說：「讓我所有朋友永遠健康快樂……！」
媽祖說：「只能四天……！」
我說：「好。春天、夏天、秋天、冬天。」
媽祖說：「只能三天。」
我說：「好。昨天、今天、明天。」
媽祖說：「不行，只能兩天！」
我說：「好。白天、黑天。」
媽祖說：「不行，就一天……！」
我說：「好……！」
媽祖茫然問到：「哪一天？」
我說：「在我所有朋友活著的每一天。」
媽祖笑了……說：「以後你所有朋友將天天健康快樂！看到此資訊的人轉發給朋友，祝你的朋友們都是快樂健康……！」
其實，有很多人都等你去關心。所以，想起誰就發過去吧！
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My friend has translated it to English as follows:
Constructive Jokes
Think of it differently
There's a large garden in New York, USA, that attracts a large number of tourists.
Outside the garden, there's a sign that reads: "A $200 reward for reporting the theft of flowers, plants, and trees."
"Why not just write it like that? A $200 fine for stealing flowers and trees would be enough?" a curious visitor asked the administrator.
The administrator replied, "If it were written that way, we'd have to rely on just one pair of eyes: but now, there are probably hundreds of vigilant eyes helping us keep watch!"
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Goal is the mother of conviction.
An American expedition team was crossing the Sahara Desert. Under the scorching sun, every member faced a tremendous test. Worst of all, everyone's water bottles were empty!
The leader took out the only water bottle and said to everyone, "There's still one bottle of water here, but no one can drink until we're through the desert." "
The water bottle passed from hand to hand with each team member. The heavy weight of the bottle became their greatest hope during this arduous journey.
Finally, the entire team completed their trek, escaping death. Everyone wept, and with trembling hands, they opened the mighty water bottle that had supported them—and what slowly flowed out was a full bottle of sand...
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A Good Hand for Seizing Opportunity
There was a famous reporter from the New York Daily who recounted his story most fondly: how he landed the job.
He nervously waited outside the office, his resume already submitted. A moment later, a clerk came out and said, "The manager wants to see your business card."
He never had a business card before, so an idea struck him. He pulled out a deck of playing cards, drew the ace of spades, and said, "Give him this."
Half an hour later, he was hired. The ace of spades—a truly excellent card!
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The Success Closest to You
A French newspaper held a quiz with a prize.
The question was: "If a fire broke out at the Louvre Museum in France, and you were only allowed to save one painting, which one would you save?"
The first-place answer was...
The painting closest to the exit!
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Health
For the poor, losing health is like adding insult to injury. For the rich, losing health is like wasting a lifetime.
If a man loses his health, he will become someone else's bride. If a woman loses her health, he will have to redecorate her own bridal chamber.
When an elderly person loses their health, family happiness becomes a luxury. When a child loses their health, their parents are heartbroken.
A lifetime without health is like a lifetime of wasted time!
Dear brothers and sisters, take care of yourselves!
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Here it comes...
When I was little, my mother would say: "The wolf is coming."
At school, my classmates would say: "The teacher is coming."
At work, my colleagues would say: "The boss is coming."
After I got married, my friends would say: "Your wife is coming."
Now, the mistress says: "I haven't had my period this month..." "Not having my period" is scarier than "having my period."
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Writing a Letter
One day, a mentally ill patient was writing a letter. The nurse asked, "Who are you writing to?" The patient replied, "To myself!"
The nurse then asked, "What did you write about?"
The patient replied, "You're crazy! I haven't received it yet, how would I know?"
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Playing with Birds
A store had a parrot at the door. When customers entered, they would say "Welcome."
A young woman, unconvinced, walked back and forth six times, and the parrot repeated the message six times.
On the seventh time, the parrot flew into a rage and shouted, "Boss, someone's playing with your bird!" "
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I said to Mazu
I said to Mazu: "May all my friends be healthy and happy forever...!"
Mazu said: "Only four days...!"
I said: "Okay. Spring, summer, autumn, and winter."
Mazu said: "Only three days."
I said: "Okay. Yesterday, today, and tomorrow."
Mazu said: "No, only two days!"
I said: "Okay. Daytime and nighttime."
Mazu said: "No, only one day...!"
I said: "Okay...!"
Mazu asked, bewildered: "Which day?"
I said: "Every day that all my friends are alive."
Mazu smiled... and said: "From now on, all your friends will be healthy and happy every day! Anyone who sees this message, please forward it to your friends. May all your friends be happy and healthy...!"
In fact, there are many people waiting for your attention. So, send it to whoever you think of!
